A;ngus; is a qualified Mechanical Engineer, but is currently working as a mechanic while he recovers from his past. You can read more about the friends of Angus here. If you want to know more about that past, this is what someone overheard last time he was in the rectory with Father Shaw:

So, you want to know a bit about me, do you? You want to know how I ended up so low. Hey, you're the boss, father. But don't blame me if you need a shrink by the time I'm finished, it's a sad story.

I grew up in a place that couldn't be further from here in terms of mindset: a conservative, backwards, place. Everybody expected everyone else to fit their small-minded ideas of how the world works, and turned nasty when they didn't. I never did fit the mould, and to be honest, made a point of not bending. I'll admit to a certain perverse pleasure in seeing the "norms" getting uncomfortable around me. But I equally made a point of not doing anything to give them a reason to judge me. It was a fine line to tread, and sometimes a hard one not to fall off.

Then I met Siobhan, the love of my life. We were so good together. We never ran out of things to say, or ways to make each other laugh, or just feel better when we were down. The relationship started slowly, we were good friends before we became lovers, but that's what made it so special. It lasted a long time too, for me. I had had some really bad luck with the ladies. I had a nasty habit of catching them in bed with other men, if you must know. But I trusted her not to do that to me, she really loved me, and knew that that would kill me inside, she'd never treat me like that.

Yeah, you guessed it. I came home early from work, I knew she was waiting for me, I'd given her a key to let herself in, and I just couldn't wait to get back to her. And there she was, in my bed, with him. I'd introduced them, he was a mate of mine, how could he do that! He knew what she meant to me!

I admit it, I went off the rails some at that point. I discovered drugs, I started purposefully acting stranger than I had, looking for new ways to make people uncomfortable, more ways to disturb their minds. I worked out a bit, trained in some martial arts, made people scared of me, as well as uncomfortable. I found an underworld that liked me, that I felt at home in. Women who liked big, mean men, liked to be a little scared of their man, and liked the pain when I inflicted it. And I was the biggest, and started to become the meanest, it's not a part of my life I'm proud of.

And then, I snapped out of it. I don't know what changed, but all of a sudden, this got old. I didn't want to be the big, mean bastard any more. I just wanted to be me again. But I had a reputation now, people knew me, and kept dragging me back in. After a time, I decided to escape.

So I moved here. I made a new life for myself. I didn't have to change myself, society's that much more accepting here, less judgemental, less concerned with how I look. But I couldn't shake the thrill those women gave me back home. Not the hurt, just the control, the power. What I wanted was different to what I had back there, but close enough that I was scared to chase it, in case I fell off the edge again. I made some good friends, found a good balance. I found a good job, had "Director" in my title, was going places. Things were good.

Then along came Lilly. We met at a pub, over a pint. We started talking, traded numbers. Somehow, I felt comfortable telling her about myself, and over the weeks explained what I wanted from life. She didn't run, didn't even look surprised. She seemed to understand me, seemed, in fact, to want the same. Well, the exact opposite, if you get my drift. She wanted me, and what I had been wanting, was her. But it wasn't that simple. It never is, is it? She was in a relationship. He was a real bastard, abusive, but not in any way you could stop. He just ran her down all the time, made her feel like she had nothing without him. And she had been through so much in her life, she needed protection, not damaging. She needed someone who would help her, who would guide her. That's what I needed, was to be needed, the way she needed someone. But I couldn't be that person to her, so I resolved to just stay friends, and support her as I could. Put something back into the world for a change, instead of just taking what I wanted.

She called me one night, when I was asleep. "I'm sorry Angus; I don't think I should see you any more." She had sent me an email, telling me why, but felt she needed to say this much to me on the phone. In the email, she explained that she had fallen for me, but couldn't get out of her relationship. I couldn't let her stay in that mess, not without the only person she could count on for help. I refused to back out and leave her, I gave her the support and strength she needed, and eventually, she got out of it. We stayed friends for a while after that, a little nervous I guess of what would happen if we ended up together. And then, as we had known it would, we ended up in bed together.

And she was what I had needed. Everything I wanted from a partner, and everything I hadn't known I wanted too. She was a perfect fit, in every way. We were good for each other, I helped her find her feet, helped her balance her life, and she gave me what I needed without any risk of falling again.

You knew this wasn't going to have a happy ending didn't you? She started trying to twist me, trying to make me mean again. And it happened, eventually. I snapped. I hit her, and although she had wanted it, everything I had kept repressed since I left home came back. I tried to make it right, but she was hiding behind a screen of men that had suddenly appeared as her "friends" `- and tried to keep me from her. And then the truth hit. She had been playing me, twisting me, taking pleasure in seeing me become what I hated most about myself. She was a manipulative little whore. And I wish that was just a figure of speech. Those "friends" were her clients, her regular tricks.

I broke. I pulled into myself, became a complete recluse. I lost my job, because I couldn't focus on anything. I became angry, and bitter, and rediscovered all those things I had left behind. I looked to scare people, and now it was harder than back home, and I became frustrated because I couldn't even get that right any more.

I went through another of those phases that I'm not proud of. My life was a complete mess for a few months. I found the drugs again, and they kept me from the rest of the world. They also made me more paranoid, more twisted, more ugly inside. I won't go into details, I don't want to relive that time. Suffice to say that I had a number of ways of ending it ready, I just didn't have the balls to do it.

Then my angel found me. Robyn lived a few doors down from me, and after seeing the state I was in, came to say hi. We had been friends for a while, before I slipped, and she was worried. She understood what was missing from my life, and became my friend. Once she had me back on my feet a bit, she brought me here, to the church. I've been here a year now, and I think I'm on the mend. I've been off the drugs and booze for months, and the church has given me a focus again. I'm working again, and am starting to feel like I can make a life for myself. But just recently, the strangest things have been happening, and that's what I wanted to talk to you about, father"