Although we at LoST usually play plot-driven, intense and dark games, humour plays a big part of what makes our evenings so good. Here we have gathered some of the best quotes that has come out of the games. Enjoy!

"Google is bigger than Britain."
- John Doe after Jane Doe voiced concerns about using Google to search for information regarding the governments cover-up of the murder of 'Some guy' in the What is Truth Worth chronicle.

"Let's go off to Ireland!"
- Paul Drake after group received life threatening letters in the What is Truth Worth chronicle. Noted for being a spanner in the plot, totally derailing the game for a session. Has become a catchphrase for spannering the plot, or otherwise annoying the GM.

"With all due respect, you are the freakiest looking"
- Joshua to Angus McKenna while discussing if the group should infiltrate the group of "new-agers" who have started to worship the moon from Arthurs Seat in Edinburgh Alternates.

"Kick her in the balls"
- Gloria (the midwife) to all while attacking a female NPC in Edinburgh Alternates.

"She didn't die the way he did, so she is probably alive."
- Keith Farnsworth is calming down the pimp who hired him to chauffeur a client and his favourite prostitute for the evening in The Pennywell Hangmen.

"Sorry, what?"
"I said 'This is so simple any slack-jawed idiot of a card-bitch can remember it.'"
- Richard is explaining the rules of 'Pimp' to Padraig a.k.a. the card-bitch.

"If there is one thing I hate more than pikeys it's zombie pikeys."
- Barrington Henlys comment when recognizing the dwarf zombie coming towards him as one of the gypsies in The Pennywell Hangmen.

"As soon as Wilma is dancing, I'm coming to eat you under the table."
- Richard offers/threatens to help Jon out as soon as his woman is out of the picture in The Enemy Within.

"You can never have too many coloured people with shotguns."
- Mike as he finds a handful of zombie killers in his dice bag in The Pennywell Hangmen.

"That's only a problem if you fuck them ... koala fucker."
- Jon replies after Mike explained how koala bears are rife with Syphilis.

"Something terrible has happened! We think he has Syphilis!"
- Gustav puts words in Someone's mouth as he carries the dead werewolf-maimed body of Henry Wise into the Red Fox Inn.

"Ha! I set alight to the petrol in the workshop to burn it to the ground with the Werewolf trapped inside" "Congratulations it's incinerated, along with the power generator, the bullet press, the gunpowder, your transport out of here and all the evidence you have collected...smart move"
- Matt the GM explains to Mike the error of his ways in Blood Brothers.

"How's school?"
"Fine. How's prison?"
- Alethia chooses her words talking with her uncle Bruce in The End.

"Maybe it's her spare?"
- Amanda commenting on finding Marguerite's mechanical aortic valve after her disappearance in The End.

"So you'll happily slide your flatmate's used condom into your partner?"
- Privacy forbids me to disclose who said this.

"Assassinating the president is logistically difficult."
- Tyler makes the understatement of the century in The End.

"There is fire all around the house!"
"Don't worry, it could be a magical illusion."
- A perfectly rational reaction to fire from Tyler in The End.

"Are you now the pen-knife of Christ?"
- Comment on Gray only bringing a pen-knife with him into the desert for 40 days in The End.

Gray - "You were aware of the plan."
Amanda - "This was not part of the plan!"
- Exchange in The End as Amanda waked up tied to a chair inside a summoning circle together with the demon Moloch.

ST - "He puts his mouth of yours."
Padraig interjects - "Yuck, necrophiliac!"
Dan - "I'm not dead yet!"
Padraig - "Foreplay!"
- Exchange in London Burning as Dan is brought back from death's door by a healer.

"You've ransacked my shithole."
- Magners in The Enemy Within as he's being tortured by the Purple Hand.

Jono - "How big is an airship?"
Padraig - "Depends on the size."
- A tautology lesson in Emporium.

"I'll spend the next day servicing Alfred, and polishing my tool..."
- Martin prepares for the steampunk symposium Emporium.